I'm still here.
I'm still stuck.
Little by little, I can feel life slipping from me every day.
I've had three appointments with my new therapist and so far all three have been identical. I'm beginning to think she has one speech which she has rehearsed and reiterates under the guise of cognitive behavioral therapy.
The first time around it was good, practical advice. All of which I was aware but good to hear all the same. I liked that she didn't sit back and allow me to talk my head off. It became quite clear only a few minutes into visit two she either 1) Needed a refresher of our first visit or 2) Was simply repeating literally everything she told me in visit number one. This visit left me much less appreciative of not being allowed to do all the talking. Visit three was almost exactly the same as visits one and two with the exception she took me 15 minutes late, allowed me to - at best - talk about five minutes in total. I don't believe I was able to express one concern in it's entirety before she cut me off. I left with more anxiety than I had carried in with me.
It appears as if I am going to have to start my search all over again. I'm not sure how much more of this fumbling through life I can tolerate. I know for certain I need my medication appropriately adjusted and that the likelihood of me getting that done is beyond slim. I know it's the combination of the medication and the right therapist, which I had previously and with great success, that will get me heading back in the right direction. I've exhausted every possible, legally appropriate avenue to get the help I need. Apparently my well being, my life, is not worth the risk to those who could be helping. Time to look elsewhere.
